Yeah! We are home! 28 hours of travel! Back to the land of clean air and clean streets and clean buildings. Back to the land of public garbage cans and public restrooms--with toilet seats! :) Back to the land where we have 3 very precious blessings to love and kiss and hold and enjoy!
Our adoption agent in the U.S. said things are tightening up all across Russia with a strict policy of only referring children with severe health issues to foreigners. She also said the program Russian started a year ago that offered financial incentives for Russians to take in the orphans is actually more of a foster program with the option to adopt. This is great it would seem; however, the problem is that it takes these children off of the adoption lists and then the foster families can just send them back to the orphanage any time they want. She said more children might become available as these children are returned. I can't believe there is such utter disregard for finding permanent homes for these children.
In Moscow at the airport we met 3 others that were there for adoption. One couple was with an agency called American World Adoption. They were on their 2nd trip and after 3 weeks here, they were finally on their way home with their adorable little 22 month old boy. He was very healthy and so, so cute. He had an innocent heart murmur on his medical that allowed him to be adopted. They had to wait 5 months in between trips! The other couple were on their first trip like us. They were with European Adoption Consultants and were adopting from a region just a 4 hour drive from Moscow. They met their referral, a little boy, who is very healthy and everything went perfectly. The third was a single lady who was traveling with her Aunt. She had a similar experience as us. The first referral was deaf and the second was severly hyperactive. She was still deciding what she was going to do. She was with Adoption Options, doing an independent adoption. I think maybe the larger adoption agencies have more clout and can still get healthy referrals, or maybe it just depends on what region of Russia you are working in and what their current policy is. Maybe some of both.
I am grateful that the two young couples met with success. They didn't have any children. As much as I hate to think it, if this terrible experience had to happen to someone, so that others would know what is going on, I am glad that it was us because at least we have beautiful children we can go home to and hold.
Thank you to all of you who followed us on this journey. Your comments have been very much appreciated.
Friday, March 28, 2008
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Coming Home
So we have found that there is a limit to the tears you can cry. Right now they are pretty well dried up. We went back and asked for another referral, even if it was a boy or a different age, or whatever, and the lady said the only children they were allowed to refer had severe health problems such as down syndrome and paralysis. All other children are to be reserved for Russian citizens to adopt. She felt very sorry for us, especially when my tears started to flow. It was so disheartening to come to such a sudden roadblock after everything had been moving along so smoothly. Before we left she said that she would send us a new healthy referral if policy changed or in the summer. Our agent explained that maybe in the summer she could because that was when her boss would be on vacation and she could slip it in!
After our meeting with her, we hurried and changed our travel plans, so that we could leave in the morning. I can't wait to hold my little ones in my arms!
I don't know why God has had us go through this experience. I do know that it was His plan for us to be here. I just have to trust that He knows what He is doing and that it will all work out for the best. My apologies to all of you who have followed us on this journey. Nobody likes a sad ending. Hopefully this is a story that just has one of those annoying To Be Continued... parts to it.
Our love to all of you.
After our meeting with her, we hurried and changed our travel plans, so that we could leave in the morning. I can't wait to hold my little ones in my arms!
I don't know why God has had us go through this experience. I do know that it was His plan for us to be here. I just have to trust that He knows what He is doing and that it will all work out for the best. My apologies to all of you who have followed us on this journey. Nobody likes a sad ending. Hopefully this is a story that just has one of those annoying To Be Continued... parts to it.
Our love to all of you.
The Worst Possible Scenario
It is not often in life that the worst possible scenario comes true, but today it did. Yesterday after we officially declined the first referral because she was dying of Hepatitis C, we were excited to hear that they were going to give us another referral this morning. So with tenative excitement we geared up this morning to meet our new referral. The Ministry of Education lady smiled at us and was very friendly as we received the second referral. They did not tell us anything about her at that point except her name and birthdate. She was only slighty older than our first referral. That was fine with us, as we really just wanted a child that was not going to die or have severe life-long problems. We drove to the orphanage and they asked if we wanted to hear the medical report before meeting the child. We said yes and so the doctor came in and told us that she was severly paralyzed and that she had had heart surgery just last year. My heart just cracked right open at that moment. They brought her in and told us not to touch her as she had been sick. With every power of self-control I had I smiled at her and talked to her. She did not respond to us. As soon as they took her out I burst into tears. It was awful, and in fact I am crying right now as I sit here telling you all about it.
Our adoption agent felt horrible about all this, but there is really nothing he can do about it. I guess in the last two years while the agency has not been accreddited the government has provided more incentives for Russians to adopt these orphans. This has met with some success and quite a number of the young orphans have been adopted within the country. Because of this, the government no longer wants to send healthy orphans to foreign homes.
We are very angry as our contract stated that we wanted to adopt a 4 year old girl and that we would only accept minor, correctable issues. I understand that we are the first ones back to Russia for this agency and they did not know the government would be like this, but it doesn't stop the anger from forming in my stomach. I keep thinking about my beautiful girls and how excited they are to have a new sister. Emma asked me last night what color her hair is. I told her I would send her a picture tonight. I also keep thinking about all the children that are 3 and older that the Russians will never adopt--they always want very young children. Why will these people not see that we can offer one of these children a loving home environment where they can flourish and have so much opportunity before them? I do not understand how people can be so uncaring.
This afternoon we have to go to the notary to decline the referral and then we will see if they will give us another referral. When they gave us the second, they said that would be all, but we will see. We really just want to come home. We have pretty much given up hope that they will let us have a child without major problems. Some people seek to adopt children with special needs like this because they know they are prepared to take it on. Both the referrals we saw were sweet little girls that would be easy to love, but right now we don't feel we are prepared to handle this kind of challenge in our lives. Since we have traveled to the other side of the world for this, we will play their little game and see it through, but we are not looking forward to it.
Our American missionary friend was going to take us around this afternoon, but all of a sudden I have lost my drive to learn about all things Russian.
Our adoption agent felt horrible about all this, but there is really nothing he can do about it. I guess in the last two years while the agency has not been accreddited the government has provided more incentives for Russians to adopt these orphans. This has met with some success and quite a number of the young orphans have been adopted within the country. Because of this, the government no longer wants to send healthy orphans to foreign homes.
We are very angry as our contract stated that we wanted to adopt a 4 year old girl and that we would only accept minor, correctable issues. I understand that we are the first ones back to Russia for this agency and they did not know the government would be like this, but it doesn't stop the anger from forming in my stomach. I keep thinking about my beautiful girls and how excited they are to have a new sister. Emma asked me last night what color her hair is. I told her I would send her a picture tonight. I also keep thinking about all the children that are 3 and older that the Russians will never adopt--they always want very young children. Why will these people not see that we can offer one of these children a loving home environment where they can flourish and have so much opportunity before them? I do not understand how people can be so uncaring.
This afternoon we have to go to the notary to decline the referral and then we will see if they will give us another referral. When they gave us the second, they said that would be all, but we will see. We really just want to come home. We have pretty much given up hope that they will let us have a child without major problems. Some people seek to adopt children with special needs like this because they know they are prepared to take it on. Both the referrals we saw were sweet little girls that would be easy to love, but right now we don't feel we are prepared to handle this kind of challenge in our lives. Since we have traveled to the other side of the world for this, we will play their little game and see it through, but we are not looking forward to it.
Our American missionary friend was going to take us around this afternoon, but all of a sudden I have lost my drive to learn about all things Russian.
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
The Emotional Rollercoaster
Well, I read so many adoption stories that I knew about the emotional rollercoaster that everyone goes through during this process, but I don't think you can ever be prepared. Yesterday was amazing and I was going to post all about it, but they were having more Internet difficulties here, so I will save the details for another post and let you know where we are at now in the process. Yesterday we got to meet our referral and she was a lot of fun to play with. We were very impressed with her and she was simply adorable. However, last night we got the translated medicals and after staying up well past midnight talking to doctors and praying and discussing it with each other, we decided that we would have to request a new referral. It was an absolutely heart-wrenching process. So, now we have been sitting around all morning while one of our coordinators goes to the Ministry of Education to try to obtain us a new referral. I know you are all asleep right now, but when you do read this, say a little prayer for us.
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Jet Lagged But Happy!
Hi everyone! We have successfully traveled halfway around the world. :) We got in to Omsk at 6:30 this morning with a grand total of 2 hours of sleep for the night on the plane and 5 hours of restless sleep on the plane the night before. We were very tired, but so very happy to be here.
Yesterday we got into Moscow at about 10 in the morning and didn't have to leave till 11 at night so we had our adoption facilitator there drive us into the city for lunch at a Russian restaurant, and had a tour guide take us around Red Square and inside the Kremlin. We got to see their "Diamond Fund." It was all very high security as it was huge amounts of gold and silver and jewels, including their royal crowns, diamond scepter and jewelery from coronations and state occasions. As we were leaving they stopped all the traffic so that 6 black BMWs and Mercedes could leave. Our tour guide made the comment that they do this for their President, Prime Minister or other important government officials. He thought it was silly that they needed so many cars for 1 person. We had dinner at a mall that had an ice skating rink in the middle. We wandered around the IKEA there and tried to restrain ourselves from jumping into the beds and taking a nap right there. We were very tired at this point.
At any rate after navigating our way through the check-in process at Moscow's domestic airport terminal, we realized that Russians have a very different theory when it comes to waiting in line. If you can squeeze in front of someone, or go around the line and cut in at front, do it! We have also had plenty of opportunity to try out our new Russian. Unfortunately, our 20 phrases or so restricts things a bit. :)
We were met this morning in Omsk by our facilitators here who are very nice. We got back to the hotel, took an awesome hot shower, had a half hour nap, and went to the hotel's buffet breakfast. They had omelets that had nothing on them, crepes that they call pancakes with nothing in them, porridge made from rice, buckwheat porridge (which I wasn't quite brave enough to try), hard-boiled eggs, fresh fruit, ham, sausage, some Russian cold salads, pastries and yogurt that you drink like milk. They had boiled cold milk and boiled hot milk. I'm guessing they boil it to make it safe to drink. As soon as I drank it, it took me back to the hostels we stayed at in Europe. It has a very different taste than our milk, but it is still good. Then we tried to blog, but the Internet wasn't working.
Before we left Michigan we had found the contact info for the local Mormon church congregation in Omsk and found out that church was at 11. Our adoption facilitators thought we were crazy to go when we were so tired, but we were excited to see what it was like here. There are 3 branches in Omsk and the one we found had a whopping 40 members there, including us! A couple of the missionaries there were American and they translated the services for us. Everyone was so excited that we were there. They were happy that we were "helping Russian" and giving one of their daughters a chance for "motherly love." One lady even had a picture taken with us for their Branch history. The Branch President and his wife invited us to their home on Tuesday night as well, so we are excited for that. There was an amazing Spirit there. These people have so many challenges to face as the church has only been allowed in the country for 15 years now and they are still subject to many government limitations. They are truly pioneers of faith in Christ for their country.
Tomorrow we will go to the Ministery of Education to officially receive the referral and then it is on to the orphanage! We are very excited for this day to be here finally. Please keep us in your prayers. We send love to all of you.
Yesterday we got into Moscow at about 10 in the morning and didn't have to leave till 11 at night so we had our adoption facilitator there drive us into the city for lunch at a Russian restaurant, and had a tour guide take us around Red Square and inside the Kremlin. We got to see their "Diamond Fund." It was all very high security as it was huge amounts of gold and silver and jewels, including their royal crowns, diamond scepter and jewelery from coronations and state occasions. As we were leaving they stopped all the traffic so that 6 black BMWs and Mercedes could leave. Our tour guide made the comment that they do this for their President, Prime Minister or other important government officials. He thought it was silly that they needed so many cars for 1 person. We had dinner at a mall that had an ice skating rink in the middle. We wandered around the IKEA there and tried to restrain ourselves from jumping into the beds and taking a nap right there. We were very tired at this point.
At any rate after navigating our way through the check-in process at Moscow's domestic airport terminal, we realized that Russians have a very different theory when it comes to waiting in line. If you can squeeze in front of someone, or go around the line and cut in at front, do it! We have also had plenty of opportunity to try out our new Russian. Unfortunately, our 20 phrases or so restricts things a bit. :)
We were met this morning in Omsk by our facilitators here who are very nice. We got back to the hotel, took an awesome hot shower, had a half hour nap, and went to the hotel's buffet breakfast. They had omelets that had nothing on them, crepes that they call pancakes with nothing in them, porridge made from rice, buckwheat porridge (which I wasn't quite brave enough to try), hard-boiled eggs, fresh fruit, ham, sausage, some Russian cold salads, pastries and yogurt that you drink like milk. They had boiled cold milk and boiled hot milk. I'm guessing they boil it to make it safe to drink. As soon as I drank it, it took me back to the hostels we stayed at in Europe. It has a very different taste than our milk, but it is still good. Then we tried to blog, but the Internet wasn't working.
Before we left Michigan we had found the contact info for the local Mormon church congregation in Omsk and found out that church was at 11. Our adoption facilitators thought we were crazy to go when we were so tired, but we were excited to see what it was like here. There are 3 branches in Omsk and the one we found had a whopping 40 members there, including us! A couple of the missionaries there were American and they translated the services for us. Everyone was so excited that we were there. They were happy that we were "helping Russian" and giving one of their daughters a chance for "motherly love." One lady even had a picture taken with us for their Branch history. The Branch President and his wife invited us to their home on Tuesday night as well, so we are excited for that. There was an amazing Spirit there. These people have so many challenges to face as the church has only been allowed in the country for 15 years now and they are still subject to many government limitations. They are truly pioneers of faith in Christ for their country.
Tomorrow we will go to the Ministery of Education to officially receive the referral and then it is on to the orphanage! We are very excited for this day to be here finally. Please keep us in your prayers. We send love to all of you.
Saturday, March 15, 2008
Preparations Begin
Whew! Can you believe we had to spend $700 in addition to our outrageous plane tickets just to get tourist visas in time for our trip?! It would seem Russia really doesn't want people to visit. On our visa application we had to list what countries we had visited in the last 10 years. I was shocked to discover that we have been to 9 countries in the last 10 years! --and not one of them required a tourist visa to visit. Does anyone know why some countries require this? Is it leftover from communism? Are they paranoid we are terrorists? Do they just have a control complex? Does the U.S. require tourist visas from Russians? As you can see I really don't know a whole lot about this.
Anyways, after overnighting our application materials and the hefty check this morning, I began the fun part of the preparations. I bought a super soft little pink blanket and Isabelle picked out a cozy little puppy stuffed animal as gifts for our new little one. I also got heart lockets for the girls for Easter and one to give our new daughter with family pics inside. After we leave her and come home, she will most likely have to wait a month or two before we get a court date. This separation will be the most trying part of the process for her and for us.
I wanted to get a cute little pink walkman and record our family singing songs and saying a few Russian phrases to her on a tape so she could get used to our voices. The salesclerks at Wal-mart gave me a very strange look and politely informed me that they don't carry walkmans anymore. :) So she'll have to make do with our old beat-up black one.
I also went to Sam's Club and got huge bags of candy to hand out at the orphanage, as well as the big bottles of chewable childrens vitamins to donate. I bought a bunch of bubble blowing toys too. I think I will pick up some baby Tylenol too. I can't imagine not being able to give a sick or teething baby some pain relief. I had big dreams of bringing a whole bunch of things to donate, but that will have to wait till the next trip. Besides, what they really need is money to buy food and things that the children need. I read that they feed the children on 1 cent a day! No wonder they are all so malnourished. I can't wait to get her home and feed her lots of fresh fruits, vegetables from our garden and freshly baked whole wheat bread. They hardly ever get fruit at all. In some orphanages before the children are old enough to feed themselves, they puree everything and basically pour it down the childs throat, not even stopping if the child is gagging, simply because they don't have enough time or workers to take time with each child.
The more I learn about the lives of these little ones, the more heart-wrenching it is.
Anyways, after overnighting our application materials and the hefty check this morning, I began the fun part of the preparations. I bought a super soft little pink blanket and Isabelle picked out a cozy little puppy stuffed animal as gifts for our new little one. I also got heart lockets for the girls for Easter and one to give our new daughter with family pics inside. After we leave her and come home, she will most likely have to wait a month or two before we get a court date. This separation will be the most trying part of the process for her and for us.
I wanted to get a cute little pink walkman and record our family singing songs and saying a few Russian phrases to her on a tape so she could get used to our voices. The salesclerks at Wal-mart gave me a very strange look and politely informed me that they don't carry walkmans anymore. :) So she'll have to make do with our old beat-up black one.
I also went to Sam's Club and got huge bags of candy to hand out at the orphanage, as well as the big bottles of chewable childrens vitamins to donate. I bought a bunch of bubble blowing toys too. I think I will pick up some baby Tylenol too. I can't imagine not being able to give a sick or teething baby some pain relief. I had big dreams of bringing a whole bunch of things to donate, but that will have to wait till the next trip. Besides, what they really need is money to buy food and things that the children need. I read that they feed the children on 1 cent a day! No wonder they are all so malnourished. I can't wait to get her home and feed her lots of fresh fruits, vegetables from our garden and freshly baked whole wheat bread. They hardly ever get fruit at all. In some orphanages before the children are old enough to feed themselves, they puree everything and basically pour it down the childs throat, not even stopping if the child is gagging, simply because they don't have enough time or workers to take time with each child.
The more I learn about the lives of these little ones, the more heart-wrenching it is.
Thursday, March 13, 2008
We're On Our Way!
It seems very unreal even typing this, but we are going to be flying to Russia one week from tomorrow! I really can't believe it! We got our referral yesterday and it came with an invitation to travel. Usually after you accept a referral, you wait to get an invitation, so this is all very fast.
We are very excited! The referral is of a sweet little girl who is two years old. As we were requesting a four year old, we are not sure if she will be the one to join our family or not. Apparently they can show you other children once you are there. Maybe we'll come home with all of them! :)
Anyways, I have a billion things to do right now, but I wanted to post our happy news. I will keep you updated. Hopefully there will be internet access so I can post during our trip.
We are very excited! The referral is of a sweet little girl who is two years old. As we were requesting a four year old, we are not sure if she will be the one to join our family or not. Apparently they can show you other children once you are there. Maybe we'll come home with all of them! :)
Anyways, I have a billion things to do right now, but I wanted to post our happy news. I will keep you updated. Hopefully there will be internet access so I can post during our trip.
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
Approved!
Just got word that our dossier has been approved in the region! We are so excited! They said next week they will start looking for our child! Things are moving along so smoothly I can't believe it! I have no idea how long till we get the referral and the invitation to travel, but our agent doesn't seem to think it will be a very long wait. I will try and ask her more about an expected timeline--although probably nobody really knows.
Thanks to everyone for all the prayers! Please continue on our behalf!
Thanks to everyone for all the prayers! Please continue on our behalf!
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